Pain, Pain Go Away...

So, I've been feeling pretty low lately. I feel like I can't do anything without hurting, and it's very frustrating. I want to be able to do things and feel "normal". There are many times, like a few moments ago, that I say "screw the pain" and do something anyway, only to end up lying on the couch or in bed, wishing I hadn't done it because I'm hurting that much. I cleaned the sliding glass door. This is an accomplishment for me, and that's seriously sad. I used to pride myself  in my clean house, and having a really good work ethic, and without those things, I feel pretty lost. I look at things I want to do - from cleaning, to cooking, to photography, and I am held back from them. Held back by my pain; by this disease. I just want to be free from it. I used to take things for granted, and my Endo. has changed that. I don't go a lot of places, because even walking short distances leaves me curled up in pain. When I do go places, my husband pushes me in a wheelchair. I no longer take walking for granted. No one should, actually. I try not to feel sorry for myself, though - someone always has it worse, and I'm thankful for the things I can still do, but I'm allowed to be unhappy with the way things are in my life. God knows I get discouraged at times, but I try so hard to accept the cards I've been dealt. It's not easy, but then, I don't expect it to be either. I never took the easy road; I must have missed the sign for it years ago, but if I could change my past, I wouldn't. I'm here right now, with this condition, for a reason. I don't know what the reason is, but I'm going to stay positive and hope that one day, I'll know ... and it will have been worth all the pain.